Resolutions and tribal mind
Do I join the millions of other people who make resolutions that they won’t keep? It seems futile and silly look at that way. Then again, it doesn’t hurt to take a time of reflection to examine those places in our lives that cry for more attention.
Currently K and I are reading “Sacred Choices” by Christel Nani, in which the author speaks about the places in our lives where we are living from other’s expectations, which she calls “tribal beliefs.” It’s as good a term as any to describe societal expectations. She doesn’t claim that all tribal beliefs are bad for us. I would dismiss the book out of hand if she did. She does say that following those expectations that are out of alignment with what feeds us, saps energy and vitality out of our lives, enough so that living out of alignment for too long can lead to susceptibility to illness.
That makes sense. More and more evidence is coming in that stress weakens our immune systems, that happy people get fewer colds than grumpy ones. Lawrence LeShan even did a 10 year longitudinal study on people diagnosed with terminal cancer. The one reliable predictor of survivability was whether or not people actively pursued their dreams and deeply held goals. To use the term coined by Joseph Campbell, they followed their bliss.
So back to New Year’s resolutions. It is good to take time to do a personal inventory, to examine those actions that we know we should be doing but avoid, procrastinate, never quite find the time or energy with which to follow through and actually do. The trick is to sort out the resolutions that we think we should do from the ones that are personally important. Yeah, yeah, most of us should exercise more, lose weight, learn some skill or language, whatever. Worthy goals, all.
What is it that I need to do? I started Weight Watchers 2 months ago and am having good success without feeling a great deal of deprivation. Of course, I have nasty cravings, but little actual hunger. I hate the feeling that the accompany the cravings but absolutely don’t want to be at the mercy of something of that sort. Eating can temporarily make the cravings go away but won’t root them out at the source. Mindfully observing my food related urges, learning the distinction between real hunger, the munchies, and simply wanting food because I’m feeling blue just might have a chance of rooting my poor eating habits out at the source.
New Year’s resolution number one: lose weight and keep it off. That might actually work because it is currently working. Is that a cop out? Maybe, but a solid success is not a bad thing to build on.
Resolution number two: Work through the Workbook for Students lessons. This follows the previous resolution in approach. Continue with something that with which I’ve already developed some momentum. I haven’t actually started the lessons but have put a great deal of effort into getting this site up and running. I have all the content formatted and ready to load into the daily lessons. I think I’m up to almost the end of February in actually posting and have added the first three days of podcasts. Just getting the blog pre-populated with content will probably take the next two or three months. That effort should help with establishing the habit of looking at the lessons each morning.
I’ve also subscribed myself to the email version of the daily lessons so I will have a copy in my inbox both at home and at work each day. No excuses. Once I’ve figured out how to do Palm Doc chapters, I’ll load a version into my PDA, too.
This is hopefully enough incentive to carry my through the first few months that it will take to get some feedback on the site. That helps too. The last couple of times I’ve worked through the lessons, I rounded up several other people who committed to doing them with me and meeting weekly for support and discussion.
That’s a wonderful way to share and maintain commitment. This time, however, I am drawn to using a website as support and as a vehicle for drawing in fellow students of ACIM. This is definitely something that has been brewing for a while. I first got the idea almost five years ago but for one reason or another never quite got around to following through. Now that I have trapped myself by starting the project and announced my intentions to a number of people, I need to be resolute in carrying through.
Resolution number three: Get back to learning the guitar. This one won’t be as simple. I started this nine years ago and have never quite maintained the consistency for long enough to actually get comfortable playing with others. That’s the real goal, to be able to join at least one of the many informal jam groups that exist around here. The barrier to entry is actually pretty low. Show up with an instrument and don’t screw up loudly enough to disrupt others. Strumming cords is good enough. I just need to practice until I feel comfortable enough to not freeze up.
There are other areas in my life that I feel drawn to expend more time and effort but they aren’t as easily measured as the three I’m formally aiming for.
Work on my relationship. That’s a big one but how does one measure attainment? It’s something I’ve put almost two decades into, so it’s not likely that I won’t continue. We’re in couple’s counseling now and it is working. If there is a formal resolution here it is to not slip back into taking any part of life, especially our shared life for granted.
Develop greater skill as a web designer. There probably is some way to measure this but I spend a fair amount of energy and time each week focused on this. I’m just the type of person who wants to learn and improve at whatever I’m doing. Since I’m employed doing web design and since I’m excited by the work and feel drawn to continue, this is almost something I can take for granted. Almost. Taking things for granted is a dangerous way to care for one’s self. Attitudes slip. Time that should be put towards goals doesn’t. Joy fades from the endeavor.
I guess that the resolution here is to continue giving attention to those parts of my life that are working well now. NOT take the ease for granted, and practice mindfulness and gratitude for the gifts the efforts give.
Posted on December 31, 2006 ::
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